4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What a dumb baby whore.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
