btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
