woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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