Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
