If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
