Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize