So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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