i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
