So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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