So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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