weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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