that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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