Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
