Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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