remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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