Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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