Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We don't watch enough power rangers
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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