I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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