Rock
Scissors
Fuck
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
