I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I met the friendliest cop last night
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
cat food counts as protein by the way
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
