I am puke
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
