I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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