I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
