you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
