i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
