Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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