He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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