Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
