He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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