It's like God shit irony all over that family
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
