so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize