Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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