WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just high enough for therapy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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