He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize