based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
