i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
