so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
