3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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