So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
