He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
