i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
