Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
