you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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