Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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