Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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