Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
