doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
