I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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