if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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