why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
