did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
