I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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