I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize