Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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