Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize