I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize