Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
