shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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