I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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