You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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