awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
