i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
