Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
