Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
